This afternoon I went to Starbucks with Cookie Monster and Kermit the Frog.

Kermit has been having Relationship Problems with Miss Piggy so we all met up to talk through things and offer him our support.

Kermit said he just found out that Miss Piggy cheated on him with some DONKEY DOUCHE-NOZZLE HAND PUPPET FROM SOME OTHER PUPPET SHOW THAT CAN TAKE TWO FISTS UP HIS SOCK HOLE!

My only advice to Kermit was that, “I got 99 problems, but a Piggy ain’t one! Hit me!”

And he knew I stole that line from a rap song. So I just kept quiet the rest of the time and sipped my Pumpkin Spice Latte.

And Pikachu sat on my lap,
Almo Brown


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